A PAPER OF LIFE: A Quarter-life Crisis!!!!

It’s a blank paper. I can write anything that I want here. But somehow, I’ve got a thought.. which one that I should write? Which one can be published? Which one can reflects “me”. I have no idea about that.. so far I know.. I’ve to keep writing on a blank paper. I can’t write on a paper which already filled.

I love reading and writing, both. But I always make excuses.. whether I don’t have ideas what to write, or like I’ve no time for reading new stuff. My friends told me that I’ve good writing, I should write more, but as I am a worker now, should I decide to write in my free time? Or.. I have to be a full time writer? Be serious, sometime this idea always running in my mind, but still.. I don’t have any courage to take that challenge, to walk out of my “comfort zone “as the worker who always get monthly salary.

Since I was born, I always live in the “comfort zone”. Mom manages all for me, don’t say that I’m a mommy girl, please, I’m a mommy girl, in positive way, at least. (Pardon my excuse). Even she decided which study that I’ve to take in college. I’ve never regret of all. But what I regret is, I’m growing up, already, but I just lack of challenging experience.

Well, now I open a sheet of paper of my life to you, my lovely reader. (Wait? Do I have a reader, here?)

I think, I’m in quarter-life crisis now.
When my friends have a job (a proper promising job), I’m struggling a lot to work all day and night, to get good salary. (Am I pathetic? Maybe!) Sometime I fell so tired, so bored, so exhausted by my life routines. Early morning, Go to work, and back home late at night. Hahaha.. even I have to think a lot before taking day off, maybe I’m too care to my students. Or maybe I’m too care about pleasuring others not myself.. hikshiks (it’s not hiccup, but my sad expression).
Please don’t judge me for complaining my short of “Busy-ness” here, but that’s what I feel. Sometime, I just wanna disappear from my own life. But, it’s just the same as I run from my problems. And there is no problem solving if you run away.


Oh.. back to the love of my life, reading and writing habit. I love reading. Somehow, I learn people from my reading. I’ve found lotta characters there, learn how they behave, learn to predict what happen next, learn to prevent of what coming next.
And I’m so thankful because I’ve never get sick of letters.
But here, my lovely reader, Do you think I’m deserve to be a writer? Writing isn’t easy. You have to think of what to write, or is it good enough to be read? Whether your reader will sleepy when reading on it, or their eyes keep widely opened to finish reading your writing. Those aren’t easy ones.
Until know, I keep asking myself, do I have readers? Do people read my writing? Is it OK if I write about stuffs people don’t understand? Of all those questions, I conclude that, “Writing is a big deal.” But me, myself, love to write things on my mind. Hopefully, you can read my things.
Aaaand.. Please don’t judge me after reading short of my “shitty”story. Hasta La Vista, Amigos, mi Corazon. XOXOXO.. :*